30 is the new black

Ok so you may not have a true love to give you a gift let alone twelve but do you really need a partridge in a pear tree anyway … exactly, my point. From the whimsical to the practical, here are 12 gift ideas for the woman who has everything and bought it too. Indulge your inner diva – nothing wrong with a bit of erm … self love now and again is there? Read more »

Make waves on the beach with your swimwear this summer with the one piece reigning supreme with most swimwear designers having at least one variation of the one piece in their Summer 2010/11 collections.

The one piece is the swimsuit equivalent of the LBD; classy, stylish, elegant and timeless. Less is definitely more when it comes to the figure-friendly one piece that can accent the good and diverts the eye away from the not so good unlike bikinis which leave little to the imagination.

Choose from playful cut outs, slashed swimsuits, off-the-shoulder or strapless numbers, plunging necklines and swimsuits with embellishments, exquisite back detailing and gold and silver accents that wouldn’t look out of place in the Hamptons this season.

Stay away from the retro, 50s inspired swimswear and  high-waisted briefs that have made an unwelcome return this summer and only accentuate the areas you are trying to hide.

The one piece has evolved into a versatile fashion item that can take you from beach to bar in only a matter of seconds. You may want to proceed with caution when you go swimming at the beach but since when is fashion meant to be practical? Don’t answer that … Read more »

When the saying ‘I am woman, hear me roar’ was coined, I don’t think women being called cougars and depicted as ‘preying’ on younger men was exactly what they had in mind.

There is no difference to a man dating a woman ten or more years younger than him but once again, women are reduced to and defined by their sexuality.

But is it really women who are furthering the cougar movement as the media and popular culture would like to suggest or are aggressive young cubs pursuing older women eager for some Mrs Robinson action?

I would like to put an argument forward that it is the other way around.

All of a sudden it appears that women who are in their 30s and single are being called cougars irrespective of whether they are dating younger men or not. There is nothing wrong with dating a man or woman who is a few years younger than you. However, if you are deliberately chasing men who are ten or more years younger, then in my opinion, you’re in cougar territory.

Men who throw themselves shamelessly at women sexually is not a new phenomenon but there has been an increasing amount of men in their 20s who are aggressively pursuing older women. Fuelled by media reports that women in their 30s are gagging for it, they have become more blatant and obvious.

But let me let you in on a little secret … by the time most attractive woman reaches her 30s, she probably has a list of exes, friends with benefits or men offering their services. Unlike men, most women don’t usually have to work hard to get sex. So you may think that you’re doing a woman in their 30s a community service and they are grateful but the reality is that it’s the other way around.

And just for the record, I find nothing sexy about men in their 20s. I don’t find them physically attractive nor do I find them mentally stimulating. I am constantly being followed by men in their early 20s. I thought it would stop now I’ve reached my 30s but they have just become more aggressive. It’s not flattering; in fact it’s just annoying and damn creepy.

And it’s insulting. If a woman dates a younger man, it may just be through lack of choice. Statistics show that there are more women than men but in their 20s but this changes when a woman reaches her 30s, the dating tables are turned. Younger men are decidedly less jaded and bitter and come sans marriage, children and baggage but a lot of the time let’s face it, its expiration dating.

It may seem empowering for some women at first to bed a young man or woman who is a lot younger but like bed hair, it can go out of fashion really quickly. It seems to me that men and women who deliberately target younger people have insecurity issues, do it to recapture their youth and have a serious Peter Pan complex whether they are a man or a woman.

The only positive thing to come out of the cougar movement is the recognition that an older woman has her shit together, is well established, worldly and knows what she wants. Despite popular belief, the cougar often holds the sexual cards and with a well practised poker face, when the chips do finally fall, it’s the men or rather little boys who are nursing the sexual hangover.

I’ve been dismayed and shocked by the vitriolic and hateful comments directed at Lara Bingle.

She may or not have been aware that she was with a married man and she may or may not have been out to wreck his marriage but this happened three years ago when she was a teenager. Since then she has been in a long term relationship and is engaged to be married.

It amazes me that news about Lara Bingle is in the same newspaper as a story about a young girl successfully suing in the Supreme Court for bullying as a child but adult bullying is allowed to go on whether it’s by the bullying via the media, politicians bullying each other, workplace bullying or even amongst our friends and family.

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As I get older, I’ve realised that my friends don’t have to play the part of the leading lady and be my best friend and it’s ok to have acquaintances that stand in the chorus line but what do you do if you have a friend who always wants to be the star of the show?

Here is how to recognise toxic friends, identify a friend from a foe and ultimately decide whether you want them just to be a part of the opening act, return for an encore performance or just cut your losses and close the curtains altogether. Read more »